The Gem Witch

June seventeenth, two thousand twenty-five, on a waning gibbous moon, I stumbled upon a post in a queer Facebook group for people over thirty. That’s where I first saw Levi, a cute southern trans man sharing about his sobriety. We were both freshly sober then & we bonded over that instantly. Hours & hours of phone calls of getting to know each other, laughing & flirting. Letting his southern accent reel me in.

Eight days later, my grandpa passed. & this sweet man, still practically a stranger, stayed with me through it all. What began as gentle conversations became hours of me crying while he comforted me over the phone. My family was hours away in southern Utah, gathered where my grandpa took his last breath. I stayed alone in my apartment, sitting with my grief & waiting for them to return. I honestly don’t know how I would have survived the shock of losing my grandpa without Levi’s compassion.

This sudden, tragic moment brought us closer & before we knew it, we were in love. I knew it even before the funeral. He showed me his beautiful soul, his kindness, his magick. We connected on a cosmic, spiritual level. His emotional intelligence & self-awareness impressed me.

Six weeks after we first began talking, he bought a one way ticket from Hot Springs, Arkansas to Salt Lake City, Utah. I picked him up just after midnight on July twenty-eighth. He arrived with nothing but a backpack & his charming self. I was nervous, filled with all the what ifs. Even wondering how our pheromones would react (for the record: he smelled amazing). But the moment we saw each other & fell into each other’s arms, I felt safety. I felt home. It was as if our souls had known each other for lifetimes, or as if we were mirror reflections. Each carrying a history of mental health struggles, addiction, spiritual seeking, & a longing for unconditional love.

I’ve been in many relationships. I’ve even been married. But nothing ever felt as powerful as this love. After years of not wanting children or marriage again, suddenly those dreams resurfaced. I’ve never felt safer with anyone, in every way. He awakened my soul.

We went to a concert of one of our favorite artists. We attended a sound bath under a meteor shower on a full moon in the salt flats. We had a picnic in a nostalgic mountain spot from my childhood. He visited my grandpa’s grave with me. We talked to our spirit guides & read tarot together. I introduced him to Pokémon Go & we had the best time playing together. He met some of the most important people in my life, including my grandma. He even came with me to help her. Cleaning gutters, washing windows, whatever she needed. We had goals. We were building a life together. We were even planning a wedding, involving my family in the details.

Then everything changed.

I received a new diagnosis & started new meds. Severe depression crept in, fast. The depression that follows me always remains, but more subtle when I am stable. This time it was different, it was heavy. Suicidal ideation, self-harm thoughts. The fog of a medication that I barely remember being on, or even weaning off. I became irritable & distant. I pushed Levi away emotionally & he was struggling with his own mental health too. To protect himself, he left.

The fear of abandonment became real.

I felt like I lost him & in that moment, like I lost myself. I cried myself to sleep every night for weeks. One of my kittens cuddled with me, licking tears off my face. Without my two babies, I don’t know how I would have made it through. Even so, the loneliness was unbearable. Nothing felt right without him. It felt like the universe was against us, against me. How could something so magickal be taken from me so suddenly? After thirty-three years of feeling alone, I finally got a glimpse of unconditional love & then it vanished. Why?

I’ve never been so heartbroken. Were we twin flames? Would we reunite?

The answer, eventually, was yes.

After a month of heartbreak & unbearable pain, we unexpectedly found our way back to each other. The flame that had gone out reignited. We shared our feelings, our perspectives. We finally understood the why behind the chaos. Mental health struggles are no fucking joke. They brought a storm into our relationship, but we worked through it together.

At first, I feared everyone’s judgment, the opinions formed during our separation. But now I see it clearly: it doesn’t matter who approves. What matters is that we love each other & choose each other. The people who truly love us will support us.

On November eighteenth, on a waning crescent moon, we drove over four hours on no sleep to Grand Junction, Colorado. We eloped, no witnesses, just us. We had known each other for five months & one day. It might sound wild to some, but to us, it made perfect sense. Time is just a concept anyway. What matters is the bond, the journey, the magick of our undying love.

Levi & I made a commitment: to choose each other every single day. Through mental health challenges, through whatever judgment may come. Raw, honest, divine love is what brought us back together. Now our love is deeper & stronger than before. We learn. We grow. We don’t dwell on the past, we move forward.

I choose Levi & he chooses me.

I am so honored, so grateful, to be his wife.

Blessed be. 🌙

💛 Ave